▒▒▒ ACCESS DENIED ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒

> TERMINAL SIZE ERROR
> INSUFFICIENT COLUMN WIDTH
>
> Are you seriously trying to view
> this site on a phone? In 2026?
>
> This site was built for 80 columns.
> Your device has the screen real
> estate of a postage stamp.
>
> Go find a real computer.
> Preferably one that weighs at
> least 5kg and has a CRT.
>
> NO CARRIER

▒▒▒ CONTACT ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒
> ESTABLISHING CONNECTION...
> CARRIER DETECTED
> NEGOTIATING BAUD RATE... 2400
> HANDSHAKE COMPLETE
>
> WELCOME TO THE SYCHONET MESSAGING SYSTEM
> Please select your preferred method of contact:

METHOD              STATUS         RESPONSE TIME
─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
Carrier pigeon      OPERATIONAL    3-5 business weeks
Smoke signals       WEATHER DEP.   varies (do not use indoors)
Shouting            LIMITED RANGE  immediate (within 50m)
GitHub              ONLINE         when mass of spaghetti untangles
Email               DEPRECATED     heat death of universe
> SERIOUS INQUIRIES:
> Find me on GitHub: k0bura
> Or open an issue on the repo. I'll see it eventually.
> Probably.
>
> NO CARRIER

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